“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me,
your High God, above politics, above everything.”

                                          Psalm 46:10, The Message

Being encouraged to quiet our hearts and minds, truly listening to the destiny, precepts and divine plan of God is calming but it also can produce a space of fear and restlessness of all things. Being alone with our own thoughts isn’t always idyllic. It’s not always all epiphanies and healing. Our thoughts can be intrusive, full of self-doubt, or even grief that has not been processed. Silence can be an un-flattering mirror; one that shows what we have numbed or even ignored over the years and what we may still carry. Solitude can feel like punishment. Real silence doesn’t just sit with you. It presses. It becomes physical. A weight in the chest, a ringing in the ears, a sense of being watched by your own mind. Some of us fall asleep to noise not to soothe but to drown out what we don’t want to face – ourselves alone. We realize how unpracticed we are at simply being—with ourselves, with our memories and emotions. Silence has no mercy. It reflects, reminds, and reveals. It can become a stage, and your inner critic takes the spotlight. There’s no audience, no background noise, no buffer. Just you and every thought you may be avoiding.

To thrive and survive by accepting who we are and making that version of us the best possible one, we must learn the art of ‘being still’, quiet and alone so we can hear how to concentrate on ourselves. Welfare, happiness, contentment, and prosperity all convey a sense of overall good health and happiness resulting in well-being. No one, except our omniscient God, will be better to us than we can be to ourselves. Afterall, we have the inside scoop! We must put in the work with ourselves to reach our place of intense pleasure and when we are there, our classification changes to that of a ‘Sophisticated Lady’ because we now know how to put our well-being first realizing we must ‘be good’ to insure the goodness of all around us. This sophistication (refined, elegant, wise, clever, and smart) requires self-care that gives homage and respect to who we are and the wholeness we strive for while providing self-protection. We need to remind ourselves that we are allowed to rest, to breathe deeply and to drink enough water resulting in as many pee-breaks as necessary. We are allowed to use our PTO for ourselves for no specific reason at all. We are allowed to sleep when our bodies ask for it, to feed our minds something nourishing whether it is a good book, our son’s playlist or for seven simple minutes of silence. We don’t need to earn it – we deserve it, and we don’t have to have everything figured out before indulging ourselves. This self-care isn’t selfish – it is survival. We too matter. So, use your electric toothbrush in both water-flossing and brushing modes, step outside for a few minutes allowing the sunlight to touch your skin, invest in your passions, say ‘no’ without explaining, and really celebrate yourself — the small wins, the growth, the resilience.  Caring for yourself is not a luxury, it is a priority. Give yourself permission to rest, heal and grow at your own pace. Your needs matter – honor them without guilt. Release the pressure to be everything to everyone consciously choosing yourself as often as possible. Realize that your energy is hallowed; protect it with boundaries rooted in love. Slowing down is powerful. Our best is enough.

Take a deep breath…a real one. This is your permission slip to care for yourself with the same tenderness and patience you give to all those you love. Trust yourself to show up with love and compassion even when it is hard realizing that you too are worthy of that love. Sis, do you – unapologetically, loudly, and boldly.

I’m no expert, but I know one thing for sure—God loves you and He loves me too. Blessings!

(Written with focused prayer for my Purple Rose, my Little Conniption, Arielle Marlene)